Week of Gratitude – Day 5

  1. I’m still able to embrace new things and learn new things.
  2. I’m really grateful that I can cook well!
  3. I can be pleased by simple things, like completing this challenge.

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I nominate Vikera Hunte to write 3 things for 5 days that she is grateful for and nominate 2 persons each day to accept the challenge.

I accept this challenge (kinda).

Too often, it’s easy to get down on ourselves about the things that are going not-so-good in our lives, but when we take a couple minutes to think about the things we are lucky to have, it feels a little bit better. Don’t get me wrong, there are days when someone can spend an hour listing all the good things I have going for me, but I would push out my lower lip, fold my arms in a huff and say, “Yes, but I still don’t have X, and I want it!” It’s funny how that works, huh?

Alright, you know how I do, I’m not going to do this challenge the way it was intended. I’m going to shake it up. I’m going to post three things for 5 days here on my blog and Facebook and instead of nominating anyone, I invite any readers to post one thing in the comments section. (I don’t like being told what to do, so I’m not going to impose it on anyone.) It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could be as simple as knowing how to read.

Have fun!

V

Week of Gratitude – Day 4

  1. I am grateful that my family has taught me how to love properly.
  2. I am grateful that I am able to be the me that I really am and not the me that someone wants me to be.
  3. I am grateful that I am healthy and the most medication I’ve ever had to take was painkillers for headaches.

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I nominate Vikera Hunte to write 3 things for 5 days that she is grateful for and nominate 2 persons each day to accept the challenge.

I accept this challenge (kinda).

Too often, it’s easy to get down on ourselves about the things that are going not-so-good in our lives, but when we take a couple minutes to think about the things we are lucky to have, it feels a little bit better. Don’t get me wrong, there are days when someone can spend an hour listing all the good things I have going for me, but I would push out my lower lip, fold my arms in a huff and say, “Yes, but I still don’t have X, and I want it!” It’s funny how that works, huh?

Alright, you know how I do, I’m not going to do this challenge the way it was intended. I’m going to shake it up. I’m going to post three things for 5 days here on my blog and Facebook and instead of nominating anyone, I invite any readers to post one thing in the comments section. (I don’t like being told what to do, so I’m not going to impose it on anyone.) It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could be as simple as knowing how to read.

Have fun!

V

A week of gratitude – Day 3

  1. I am grateful that I still believe in love at first sight.
  2. I am grateful that I have finally let myself believe in my writing.
  3. I am grateful that I continue to take chances and follow my heart.

****************************

I nominate Vikera Hunte to write 3 things for 5 days that she is grateful for and nominate 2 persons each day to accept the challenge.

I accept this challenge (kinda).

Too often, it’s easy to get down on ourselves about the things that are going not-so-good in our lives, but when we take a couple minutes to think about the things we are lucky to have, it feels a little bit better. Don’t get me wrong, there are days when someone can spend an hour listing all the good things I have going for me, but I would push out my lower lip, fold my arms in a huff and say, “Yes, but I still don’t have X, and I want it!” It’s funny how that works, huh?

Alright, you know how I do, I’m not going to do this challenge the way it was intended. I’m going to shake it up. I’m going to post three things for 5 days here on my blog and Facebook and instead of nominating anyone, I invite any readers to post one thing in the comments section. (I don’t like being told what to do, so I’m not going to impose it on anyone.) It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could be as simple as knowing how to read.

Have fun!

V

A week of gratitude – Day 2

  1. I am not allergic to chocolate or cheese: my two favourite vegetables. (Okay, so they are not vegetables and I’m a little bit lactose intolerant, but not enough that cheese will kill me. Yay!)
  2. I have laughed until I tears run down my face more than once in my lifetime.
  3. I am grateful that I know compassion and a sense of fairness.

****************************

I nominate Vikera Hunte to write 3 things for 5 days that she is grateful for and nominate 2 persons each day to accept the challenge.

I accept this challenge (kinda).

Too often, it’s easy to get down on ourselves about the things that are going not-so-good in our lives, but when we take a couple minutes to think about the things we are lucky to have, it feels a little bit better. Don’t get me wrong, there are days when someone can spend an hour listing all the good things I have going for me, but I would push out my lower lip, fold my arms in a huff and say, “Yes, but I still don’t have X, and I want it!” It’s funny how that works, huh?

Alright, you know how I do, I’m not going to do this challenge the way it was intended. I’m going to shake it up. I’m going to post three things for 5 days here on my blog and Facebook and instead of nominating anyone, I invite any readers to post one thing in the comments section. (I don’t like being told what to do, so I’m not going to impose it on anyone.) It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could be as simple as knowing how to read.

Have fun!

V

A week of gratitude – Day 1

I nominate Vikera Hunte to write 3 things for 5 days that she is grateful for and nominate 2 persons each day to accept the challenge.

I accept this challenge (kinda).

Too often, it’s easy to get down on ourselves about the things that are going not-so-good in our lives, but when we take a couple minutes to think about the things we are lucky to have, it feels a little bit better. Don’t get me wrong, there are days when someone can spend an hour listing all the good things I have going for me, but I would push out my lower lip, fold my arms in a huff and say, “Yes, but I still don’t have X, and I want it!” It’s funny how that works, huh?

Alright, you know how I do, I’m not going to do this challenge the way it was intended. I’m going to shake it up. I’m going to post three things for 5 days here on my blog and Facebook and instead of nominating anyone, I invite any readers to post one thing in the comments section. (I don’t like being told what to do, so I’m not going to impose it on anyone.) It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could be as simple as knowing how to read.

Have fun!

****************************

A Week of Gratitude – Day 1

  1. There are people in five different countries who love me as I am. That is not an easy thing to have and I am grateful for that.
  2. I am able to be the breadwinner and provide comfortably for my family.
  3. Kidlet is a healthy, athletic, rambunctious child.

V

Who’s your mother?

Good Monday morning! Just a little introspection today.

As some of you may know, I moved to Canada on my own, with no blood family. Over a decade ago, I met and married a Canadian and then moved here. No other family member, but my mother, now passed, has ever been here for a visit. Now that I’m divorced, I am without context. There is no one to corroborate anything I’ve said, lived, done. No one. That’s crazy if you think about it especially when you come from a large family in a small community and you only need to give your first or last name before everyone knows everything about you. In Vancouver, there’s no one to prove anything. The only person here who knew me when I lived in Trinidad, knew my family, my parents, my brothers in this whole country is my ex-husband. Wow, right? Now, it’s good if you want to start over – no history to box you in. The flip side to that is you have no history to box you in. Sigh.

This weekend at the Caribbean picnic, an older woman introduced herself to me. I think I had seen her before, but had never spoken to her. She asked me, “Who is your mother?” For a second, it shocked me. What ran through my mind was a cascade of emotions. At first I thought, “Hey, am I in Trinidad?” Confusion. Then I thought, “Could she have known my mother?” Hope. Then came the “Of course, she doesn’t. She thinks I’m someone here’s daughter.” Clarity. What followed was the eventual “In Vancouver, I don’t come from anyone.” Acceptance.

I don’t know how long it took me to answer her, but to her question, I blurted out, “Mummy,” which in itself was emotional since I hadn’t said that word to another person in a while. Also, it dawned on me: just by saying her name, I had given myself a context. Just like that, I belonged to someone even if that someone has been gone now for over 5 years. The woman said, “I know it’s ‘Mummy’, but who is she?” The jig was up. I followed up quickly with, “Oh, you mean here? I didn’t come to Canada with family,” feigning a misunderstanding. If I had to say my mother was gone, that would have done me in for sure.

But just for that split second, I had a mother again who just wasn’t there at that time. Just like that I belonged to someone. Quickly though, my delusion fizzled and the harsh reality that I don’t belong to anyone here came to me. I didn’t have parents here to come with me to the picnic. I didn’t have a husband or a boyfriend who could be shown off or flirted with by the saucy older women. I didn’t have my brothers and their families taking over half the space of the park. It is just me and my child. Always just me or just me and my child.

Weird how one question could stir up all that emotion….

Funny, you know what I just thought about? I’m giving Kidlet the very thing that I don’t have. Even though he doesn’t have the benefit of my big family, I’m giving him context. By going out to these things, meeting people, socializing with other people from the Caribbean, I am exposing him to others and showing him to be mine. Whenever I go to any event, the people I know always ask for him if he’s not with me. When he is with me, people make it a point to talk to him and ask how he is and comment on how big he’s grown. He definitely has a context. Over the years, I’ve heard people comment at these Caribbean things about how they know so-and-so since she was a child and now she’s in university or even now she has children of her own. In ten years, when he’s not joined at my hip, Kidlet will be asked, “Who is your mother?” He’ll be able to say, “Vikera, the Trini, you know her? She’s the loud one!” Ha!

What it means to love

You know there are things that you read and you think, “Wow, that’s 2 (or 15) minutes of my life I’ll never get back.” Then there are things that you read that stay tucked away in the pocket of your mind and you can’t shake it loose. I want to share something with you that stayed with me. It was clear, true, and came from a place of such honesty.
While it does sound like instructions, it’s really more about the complexity of loving someone. It’s those unspoken feelings and unexpressed insecurities wrapped up in fear and confusion. Of course, all of this does not hold true for everybody everywhere, but it’s the sentiment behind it that resonates with me. Love is often in the actions, not the words. Then again, sometimes it’s not even in the actions. It’s complicated.
This piece reminds me of what it means to love. While I’m waiting, it’s easy to romanticize about finding the ‘perfect’ person. It’s easy forget about what it feels like to get hurt and feel insecure and disappointed. It’s easy to make yourself feel like, “He’ll understand me. He’ll know everything about me. We’ll always get along. I’ll always be happy.” This piece reminds me that it’s not always that simple.
The point is love is messy and not always straightforward, but when it grabs a hold of your heart…hmmm….

When she walks away from you mad:
Follow her.

When she stares at your mouth:
Kiss her.

When she pushes you or hits you:
Grab her and don’t let go.

When she starts cussing at you:
Kiss her and tell her you love her.

When she’s quiet:
Ask her what’s wrong.

When she ignores you:
Give her your attention.

When she pulls away:
Pull her back.

When you see her at her worst:
Tell her she’s beautiful.

When you see her start crying:
Just hold her and don’t say a word.

When you see her walking:
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

When she’s scared:
Protect her.

When she lays her head on your shoulder:
Tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she steals your favourite shirt:
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

When she teases you:
Tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesn’t answer for a long time:
Reassure her that everything is okay.

When she looks at you with doubt:
Back yourself up.

When she says that she likes you:
She really does more than you could understand.

When she grabs at your hands:
Hold hers and play with her fingers.

When she bumps into you:
Bump into her back and make her laugh.

When she tells you a secret:
Keep it safe and untold.

When she looks at you in your eyes:
Don’t look away until she does.

When she misses you:
She’s hurting inside.

When you break her heart:
The pain never really goes away.

When she says its over:
She still wants you to be hers.

~Author Unknown