Hmmmm….today of all days, this is a tricky question.
Maybe it’s because I am a romantic and like to think that things always work out as they should in the end, but I’ve always been able to look at the brighter side of things. Actually, it’s kind of what I am known for in my social circles. “Call Vikera, she will always have an upside for you.” When I’m on the phone with my girlfriends, after I’ve listened to their troubles/concerns/questions, I usually take a deep breath and then start off my response with, “Well the good news is”.
A lot of things have happened to me in my life. Many people who know me have no idea what I’ve been through. On a scale of 1 to 10: 1 being catastrophic and 10 being unicorns and rainbows, I would categorize my life thus far as a solid 7. Yes, there were things that were catastrophic, but there were many unicorns and rainbows scattered throughout my 36 years. My score of 7 despite having lost so many loved ones to death may be perceived as being high because I also look at all the little good things that have happened too.
Two of the biggest hurdles I’ve ever had to overcome are the end of my marriage and my mother’s sudden death. It didn’t help that they happened within 4 months of each other. Almost 5 years later, I’m still dealing with them both. I could never have thought it at the moments of devastation, but throughout my grieving journey I see now that there were a few unicorns and rainbows sprinkled in there. After bad things happen, good things CAN happen again. I never would have thought it possible. At the time, it looked like my glass was not only half empty, but I felt in that moment that I didn’t even have a glass at all. I had nothing at all.
My word today for you is that despite bad things happening, it won’t always be that way. Sometimes when you crash you car or you lose a limb or you have no food to eat or you have to bury your mother or your child, it feels like your world is caving in. In that moment, you world did cave in and for some people, it cannot be rebuilt. I’ve been on the edge of that. You can’t see past the grief and pain, but then one day, you wake up – it could be 3 years later or 10 years later or 6 months later – and you smile or laugh at something someone said and then you know you’ll be okay. You look down and you realize you’ve been holding a glass and there’s a drop of water in it.
I remember my first laugh after Mum died/the divorce. I had met a guy and he gave me his number and one night, I decided to call him. He was nervous and I was even more nervous – first guy after my divorce. We were chatting about regular stuff and then I said, “It’s been a while since I actually had a boyfriend.” He laughed and said, “It’s been a while for me too. I mean, since I had a girlfriend. I never had a boyfriend.” For some reason, that comment made me laugh for 2 whole minutes. It was the funniest thing I ever heard. That night, I wrote one sentence in my diary, “I laughed today.”
Today I know that that moment was my drop of water.
Consider these unicorns:
- You are healthy.
- You have food in your fridge and cupboards.
- You have a job.
- You have money in your pocket.
- You have people in your life who love you.
- You have known true love.
- You have a full head of hair.
- You have the respect of the people in your life.
- You have somewhere nice to live.
- You feel safe when you go to bed at night.
- You have a closet with shoes and clothes that you love.
- You have all your teeth! (I just threw in that for a laugh, but hey, that’s a unicorn!)
Look at that list. Based on today, many of you will have quite a few of these in their lives right now and your glass will be full. I want you to remember this list when something bad happens. Remember that you had all these good things in your life. Today.
Some of you may only have one drop of water in your glass, but that’s only today and that’s only right now. Tomorrow is another day, my friend. You might get another drop tomorrow.