Whoa! It’s bizarre. I was lying in bed last night – you know those last 5 minutes when you reflect on different things before sleep comes – and I was thinking that the word “
should” is a bad word. For today’s post, we’re asked to write about banishing one thing, tangible or intangible. I think you could see where this is going….
I’ve always been guided by what the right thing is. I’ve always imposed a really high standard of morality on myself. Sure, I’ve slipped and slid a few places here and there, but by and large, I really try to be a good person. It’s the result of living in a small community where everybody’s eye is on you: no room for shenanigans and mayhem.
Because of this, my moral compass has been particularly strong and whether I chose to do it, I’ve always KNOWN what the right thing is. Growing up, I chose to do the right thing all the time. I dated the right person, came home when I was supposed to, wore the right clothes, never swore, went to church every week: the whole thing. Now that I’m an adult, I’m beginning to realize that I don’t have to be perfect all the time. I could choose to do NOT the right thing.
It’s a hard thing to unlearn, let me tell you – doing NOT the right thing, especially when you know what you
should be doing. See? Should. There it is again. That word/mindset has worked against me and my goal to be happy in the past. I should take a certain job because it pays well even though I didn’t really like what I’d be doing for 8 hours a day. I should get this dress because that one would be too extravagant even though I didn’t really like it. I should eat this because even though I’m full to the tippy top, I shouldn’t waste it. Should! Should! Should! grrrrrrr
I realize that I don’t have to hold myself to such a strict moral code, especially when it’s not that big a deal. Little by little, I’ve changed my way of thinking to factor in my imperfection and humanness and happiness. Just this summer, I paid $20 extra and bought concert tickets closer to the stage, even though I
should have bought the cheapest seats since it was a small venue. Now, I push away from the table when I’m full even though there are 3 bites left on my plate. I quit my job even though I should have figured out what I wanted to do first. I stood up for myself even though I should have kept my mouth shut to make things easier.
My word today is think about you want to do and not what you
should want to do. You’re in a relationship and you’re miserable but it’s not so bad and you think you should stay and make it work. The world tells you should be thinner and should lose weight. Forget that! Shoulds only hold you back. Do what you want to do instead. Then you wouldn’t have to should.
I realize that the more I do the things I want to do, the less time I spend
should-ing. Listen, the only reason you think you should do something in the first place is because it’s the right thing or the good thing to do. If you do what you want, how could it not be right for you or good? Makes sense? (Okay, well it does to me!)
Just be happy!
That is all.