So, I had started blogging for a short time a couple years ago. I didn’t stick with it. I was terrified of sharing my writing with people I knew. I certainly didn’t publish under my own name! I just wrote it and shared.
I published under the name FunnySexyCool. At the time, I thought, “That girl is me! That’s my alter ego. That woman doesn’t care what others think, she’s irreverent and she’s ballsy.” Me? I’m way too constricted by moral code and empathy to say what I REALLY think about most things….or so I thought. Flashforward a couple years and here I am, writing AND publishing – judgement be damned! I learned to let the words flow and not apologize for it. There’s enough room in the world for everyone’s opinions.
I wanted to re-publish a few of the 8 posts I wrote surreptitiously. They were well received by my Facebook friends. Foolishly, I wasn’t reassured by their affirmation because I thought they only liked it because they liked me. Sigh….sometimes self-doubt is the thing that sets you back when you want to go forward, huh? Thank you for those who appreciated my work when I didn’t appreciate it myself. THAT is a powerful thing in itself!
Speaking about acceptance, this piece is about “The One” – that person who accepts you when you can’t even accept yourself.
He was the kind of guy you knew would accept you. It wouldn’t matter if you didn’t lose those last 5 pounds or if you opened the door in raggedy shorts and an oversized t-shirt. He would just wrap you in his arms and kiss you within an inch of your life.
Nothing would bother him, well not nothing, but certainly not the minutiae that bothers you, like should you wax your knuckle hair – you’d be sexy no matter what. Every kiss, every touch was saturated with acceptance. As is. No restrictions. No if onlys. He was as comfortable with your body as he was with his own. He owned you as part of himself – not as a possession, but as a prized possession – like a plant he coaxed out of the ground from a seed.
It was a powerful feeling, knowing that this person looks at you as you are, not as he wished you were or definitely not as you saw your flawed self. He saw it all and accepted it all.
A powerful thing.