40 is the new old..or so it seems to me

Okay, so two things: Christmas is on its way, so is my birthday. I don’t want to get all sappy or anything, but I’m kinda freaking out about the big 3-7. I mean, seriously. I’m getting old enough to be somebody’s mum. I mean, not like a small child’s mum, which I am, of course, but like an adult’s mum. I’m NOT into that! Sheesh!

I had this grand plan of a big celebration and whatnots, but this year, it’s not gonna happen. I’m not in the mood to celebrate being old, thank you very much! I find that because I look younger than I actually am, I don’t really have to face the fact that I’m inching closer to 40 and away from 35….except on my birthday! Grrrr…annoying!

I think also, with the whole online dating thing, I had to choose an age range of men who I will be interested in and I chose 35 – 42. That means, I look at pictures of men with salt and pepper hair and wrinkles. That’s fine for them, but last year, someone asked me if I was Kidlet’s sister! To me, grey hair and wrinkles feels like a lifetime away, when in reality, it’s probably 5 years from now for me. What the heck?! How can it be? Sigh. As a guy I met a year or two ago said to me and laughed before he knew how old I was, “Age is just a number unless it’s more than 30!” He was 27 and thought I was his age.

This birthday for me is not about what I haven’t accomplished or what I don’t have or specifically WHO (and I know it should be whom here, but I think it sounds pretentious albeit correct!) I don’t have, it’s about facing the fact that I’m getting older. It’s facing the fact that even if I look like 25, I’m still almost 40. SO ANNOYING! A friend of mine says that I shouldn’t round up, but I have to start making peace with 40 real soon because apparently ready or not, here it comes! It’s in the distance, but its on the way! Sigh.

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